Dude, why the angst?

So there I was on Friday night drinking red wine with a friend in a particularly manky dive bar in Observatory when I had the most remarkable conversation.

I met this friend a couple months ago throu another mutual friend, and we get on extremely well and share the same twisted and bizarre sense of humour. Which is unusual, to say the least.

Anyhoo...

The problem with my sense of humour (and personality as a whole, come to think of it) is that I'm prone to make comments which are wildly open to misinterpretation (especially by girls). This is something which has sometimes proved disastrous in the past, leading to wrong assumptions, tearful misunderstandings, hurt feelings and a lot of quite unintended pain and heartache.

Which is no fun.

So it's something I'm trying to be a whole lot more conscious of, but in some cases it's difficult to avoid, especially as:
a) mixed messages, innuendo and leading comments are an integral part of my personality, and
b) people have a tendency to interpret things in whichever way best matches what they want the truth to be, and are loathe to risk disappointment by checking the veracity of their interpretation. (Although, as my friend Gav pointed out this morning, one often doesn't see the need for clarification, as one feels that the situation is already perfectly clear...).

Which brings us to Friday.

So we go out for drinks, and it's all good fun and great to spend time with her (as always). And then out of the blue she says, "So, what's going on here?"

And I'm thinking, "Wow, such directness! That's a first! In a good way!"

So anyway, we chatted completely openly about how we each saw the situation, which (VERY fortunately) was much the same way: basically, we both found each other very interesting and saw the possibility of a very good and very long-term friendship. Which is a very exciting prospect. And as nether of us is even remotely in a position to even consider the possibility of relationships, that actually works out really well.

With that all having been cleared up, the rest of the evening proceeded brilliantly, and we could both relax a lot more and stop worrying about unintentionally hurting a friend through misunderstanding.

And I was left thinking, "Now, why can't all communication be that open and straightforward? Why all the subterfuge and all the efforts expended on keeping up appearances? Why the unanswered (because unasked) questions? Why the misunderstanding? Why the confusion? Why tearful accusations of being misled? Why the pain? Why the anguished conversations with friends, sitting up late into the night trying to work out what something meant and what someone else is feeling? Why not just freakin' ask? And, when asked, why not just give a straight answer?"

But perhaps I'm oversimplifying.